We still wait to hear form Norwich.
The midwife is here as I write this and she has just done a heel prick to take some of Frankies blood - he did not like that! Lauren asked me to hold him while this was being done - I thought it was because she would find it too distressing - no - she tells me it is so he wont think it is her hurting him! So will he think I am the one who hurt him? I just told him it was aunty horrible.
He is about to be weighed so by the end of this blog I should be able to report how he is doing.
Frankies little herna looks quiet today - but it does tend to go up and down, I look at it sometimes and think yay its gone, then it rears its ugly head again - almost taunts me really. I wish it was not there - like it was a dream. I dont want that little tiny bubby to have surgery. I wish I could have it for him - sounds so cliched but that is truly how I feel.
OK so he has been weighed, he as put on 10oz!!! Greedy little piglet :)
He has just pleased his gogo by weeing all over his freshly changed clothes for Mum! Welcome to motherhood Lauren xxx
Anyway there was a real break through today in the Wilson camp - thank you Dizee for hearing my wobbly heart. Carlyn said to me yesterday Weezie you have got too much love - wow - I have thought about this so much and I wonder if this is while I just seem to hurt so bad - I just love too much......
Anyway, Uncle Jona has gone to Play in the Park - I think he craves normality where there are no boobs on display and constant talks of 'lady bits' which makes him cringe and groan - ah to be 15!!
Uncle Scotty is totally besotted with Frankie - it has to be seen to be believed! He will come visit again at the week end. He has asked 'can this one be straight please' like we have a choice or say over Frankie's sexuality! Bless him. It has been special for me to see the softer side of Scott and the real emotion that is there - he always acts so controlled or cool or angry that the contrast has warmed the cockles of my heart :) I love all my kids so much and feel so fucking proud of them today.
And my darling Fi - she smiles but it does not seem to reach her eyes, tiredness? Worry? We are so out of sorts in routines and sleeping arrangements - we keep kinda missing each other and looking for each other - but we are adjusting to new roles and I suppose we just have to take the bumpy roads as well as the smooth ones. I love her so much, I would not have coped these last few days without her love and support and constant feel of her hand in mine. You are my life and my future and I am so incredible grateful for you in my life. Soon there will be time for us I promise!
Ok - shower calls, I am off to the hairdresser, I need some me pampering time to keep me balanced and levelled.
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